Lessons learned from women who found success

I will soon be posting my eighth conversation that I had with a highly successful and influential woman.  She was full of great advice that applies to us all so please check back.


Meanwhile, I want to summarize the highlights of the conversations that I’ve had with seven remarkable and fascinating women.  As I've said before, we can learn so much by listening to other women as they reflect on their path to success.  So here we go:


Conversation #1
Maxine Clark, founder and CEO of Build-a-Bear Workshops
Perhaps you’re feeling a lack of enthusiasm for your job or you’re not challenged anymore.  You do the same thing over and over without even thinking about it.  Maxine explained how to bring enthusiasm back into your job and refocus on the special skills you bring to your job every day.  To learn more, visit this post dated February 26, 2011.


Conversation #2
Moe Keller, former State Senator and current Vice President of Public Policy & Systems Advocacy for Mental Health America of Colorado
I had a fascinating conversation with Moe who discussed how she, very early on in her career, took an issue that was important to her, declared it her mission, and has now turned this mission into her life’s work.


When reflecting on her path to success, Moe talked about a method she used when considering a next move in her career path.  Moe always gaged what she was considering taking on.  She would take next steps toward something she felt she could do.  A few moves in her career involved risk and fear of the unknown, however they were calculated risks, they were logical next steps that felt somewhat familiar to her so she went for it.  She continues to use this model of calculated risk today. To learn more, visit this post dated March 28, 2011

Conversation #3
Celia Slater, Executive Director, NCAA Women Coaches Academy; Co-founder, Win Star FoundationThis was a great conversation I had with an inspiring woman who reinvented herself.  Celia’s entire life had centered around basketball— when she was a NCAA women’s head basketball coach she realized that she didn’t want to be a coach anymore. But since so much of her identity was wrapped up in her career, she was afraid to leave. She felt broken, defeated and for the first time in her life, lacked all self-confidence.

Learn how Celia picked herself back up and is now working her dream job by reading this post dated April 25, 2011.

Conversation #4|
Ellen Robinson, Principal of The Robinson GroupThis former President of the Colorado Avalanche and Denver Nuggets was full of great advice for any woman wanting to climb the corporate ladder.

At one point in her career, she actually took a step down by taking a position with less responsibility but that gave her experience in another area of the company that she didn’t have.  This strategic move served invaluable when she eventually became President.

Ellen also talked about how, earlier in her career, she aspired to be just like the President and CEO of the company she was working for.  This woman was her hero and she wanted to be just like her.  However, when Ellen finally had the opportunity to meet her hero, she realized something unexpected.  Although she still admired the woman’s career accomplishments and success, she realized what she had given up in order to get there.  She had no work-life balance.  At that moment, Ellen vowed to weave balance into her life as she climbed the corporate ladder.  She continues that motto today.  See- you can bring balance into your life and still be a successful career woman.  Actually, you may be more successful because of it.

Read more strategic career moves that Ellen took on her climb to the top by visiting this post dated May 18, 2011

Conversation #5
Cozy Friedman, Founder and CEO of Cozy’s Cuts for KidsThis highly successful entrepreneur talked about a big risk she took many years ago by quitting her prestigious job in the fashion industry to start her own retail business.  She gave herself four months to open her storefront.  However, there were a lot obstacles in her path to success and her four month deadline turned into two years.  But she didn’t give up.  She is now is a very successful business owner in Manhattan.

If you are thinking about starting your own business, you will find a lot of great advice from Cozy by reading this post dated June 13, 2011.

Conversation #6
Laura Stack, President, The Productivity Pro, Inc.After speaking with this highly successful professional speaker, I felt energized and ready to MOVE forward in my path to success.  Laura knew at the age of 13 that she wanted to be a professional speaker.  After college she went after her dream.  At the beginning, she received a lot of NO’s, however she knew that if she kept trying she would be one step closer to YES.  By not taking NO for an answer, she is now a highly successful public speaker, best-selling author of four books, and has been featured on CNN, MSNBC, Fox news, and various morning programs as a leading expert in the field of workplace productivity

Laura offers a lot of great advice for anyone feeling stuck and there are also many lessons to be learned by Laura’s path to success so visit this post dated July 4, 2011.

Conversation #7
Dr. Heather Bouchey, Director, Patrick and Marcelle Leahy Center for Rural StudentsRead this inspiring journey of how this woman went from Welfare- to Ivy League- to Ph.D. and the lessons she learned along the way.

And what did she do when she realized that her job, a position that she had her sights set on for years, was no longer a good fit for her?  Find out by reading this post dated August 7, 2011

Keep checking back for more conversations with other successful women.  And keep pushing forward on your path to success!

A new month— time to set a small goal

October is here— my favorite month.  Time for sweaters, pumpkins, colored leaves, and my favorite— candy corn! 

Although candy corn is high on my favorite's list, this new month of October brings other things far more important than my favorite candy.  It brings us the opportunity to make a fresh start; to set goals. We all have goals we want to reach.  Why not use this new month as an opportunity to declare a small goal that you can achieve by the end of October.  That gives you 31 days to accomplish something.  It could be losing 5 pounds, cleaning out your closet (something I keep saying I’m going to do), reading at night instead of watching television, or calling a friend or family member that you haven't spoken to in a while.  Whatever it is— let’s set a small goal today.  Because chances are, once we accomplish our small goal, it will give us the momentum to set loftier goals. But we must start somewhere.

Let’s start now.  My goal is to give myself a compliment every day in October (I’ve realized that I am my worst critic at times and if I don’t treat myself kindly, how can I expect others to?). 

Set your small goal for October.   I will check back with you at the end of the month to see how you did and to let you know how I did with my self-compliments.

31 days and counting down…

Red dress

Like all of us get from time to time, I've been feeling a bit blah lately— feeling stuck in my routine; wanting to do more but not sure what.

On a whim this past weekend, I bought a "dress for less" at Ross.  But not just any dress—  a red dress.  For me, this was a big risk; I never wear red.  But at the bargain price of just $19.99, I couldn't resist— even if that bargain just happened to be a red dress.

So I stepped out of my comfort zone today— I am wearing my red dress. And what's happened?  Well the sky didn't fall. And I didn't suddenly figure out what I'm supposed to do with my life.  If that happened then I would wear red much more often. However, what has happened is the fact that I am overwhelmed by the number of compliments I'm receiving.  One woman told me I look powerful; another said I should wear red more; and are you ready for this one?  Someone just told me that red is my color!

The ironic thing is, the color red- something I've stayed far away from all my life- actually put a smile on my face today and put a spring in my step.

Because I dared to step out of my comfort zone and brave the color red- a color I thought I couldn't wear- I am overwhelmed by the positive reactions I've received— not only from those around me but also from myself.  Because I thought I couldn't pull off the color red, I have never tried wearing it.  And now that I did it, I wonder why I waited so long.

This makes me wonder what other "small risks" I can take.  What are other things in my life that I always thought I couldn't do so I never tried?  Maybe it's time to take another "small risk" with something else that has been holding me back from being all that I can be.

What "small risk" can you take?

And by the way, if you are looking for a red dress, you should head to Ross.  Bargains galore!

Conversation #7: From welfare to Ivy League

How do some people manage to build a better life than the childhood environment they grew up in while others continue the destructive family patterns they knew as a child?

“A lot of my drive was an effort to protect myself and escape from experiences I saw and wanted no part of.  More often than not, you need to get a college degree; education is the first step in breaking the cycle.” — Dr. Heather Bouchey, Director, Patrick and Marcelle Leahy Center for Rural Students

In high school, I was always impressed by one particular girl.  We were in all the AP classes together.  Although we hung out in different crowds (she was a cheerleader; me a soccer player), I always considered her my friend.  Her smarts and drive to be the very best she could be resonated with me— especially considering her background. 

Heather Bouchey grew up in a low-income family.  Throughout her childhood, her family was on welfare. She lived in a subsidized housing project. Her family environment was that of never-ending substance abuse and total chaos.  I always wondered how she managed to thrive in high school. I hate to say this but I need to make a point— most kids who came from this housing project did not wind up in AP classes.  Not because they didn’t have the potential.  Rather, it was quite the opposite. While they certainly had the potential, their childhood environment made it more difficult for them to achieve this, although not impossible as Heather has proved.  Most kids in our AP classes had parents who were doctors and lawyers.  It was expected that they would do well in school and go on to college. But no one in Heather’s family had ever attended college so how did Heather end up at an Ivy League college and go on to earn her Ph.D.? 

Although I always wondered what motivated her, as high school classmates we never discussed her family life or where she lived. Now, nearly 25 years later, I was finally brave enough to ask Heather how she did it. 

Luckily, Heather was born with the love of reading and learning.  You could say this stemmed from her father who was naturally “book smart” and her mother who was an avid reader and encouraged Heather’s love of the written word.  Heather poured herself into books and learning as a way to protect herself. 

“I had a lot of internal motivation”, states Heather.  “My drive was an effort to protect myself and escape from experiences I saw and wanted no part of.  I was lucky in a sense that reading and learning came easy for me and I used it to my advantage”.

Heather’s peers in high school were quite different than most of the kids where she came from.  A lot of Heather’s friends and peers were kids from high-income families.  “Intellectually, that was where I fit in,” states Heather.  “They were kind enough to let me in their circle and let me run around with them in school”.

Heather not only had book-smarts and got in with the right crowd which stimulated her intellectually, she also had incredible support.  This is not to be underrated.  Heather had teachers who encouraged her; teachers who knew her background and saw her potential.  And Heather’s mother also believed in her potential and was there for her every step of the way.

“My mom gave me incredible support”, says Heather.  “She encouraged me to get out.  Unlike herself who was afraid to leave, she didn’t want to hold me back. I always knew how proud she was of me.”

Heather graduated among the top in our high school class and found herself on the campus of Cornell University.  Heather made it to the Ivy League.  When she first stepped foot on campus she experienced a bit of culture shock.  She not only felt like a tiny fish in a big sea; she was swimming in a big ocean with a lot of fish that had a lot more privileges than she did.  Once again, Heather found herself immersed in a group much different than her home life.

“I was always running with a crowd very different than my upbringing’, states Heather.  “But I’ve always had a personality that allowed me to adapt and that suited me well.”

Heather had her sights on becoming a pediatrician.  However she realized that she did not have the passion for it.  In her junior year, she took a class in developmental psychology.  This class proved to be pivotal in her career path.  “I loved this class”, said Heather.  “I realized there was another field out there that really interested me”.

Heather quickly switched majors.  This move put her behind the curve with the number of classes she would need to take in order to complete her psychology degree in four years. So she did the only thing she knew how to do— she pushed hard and forged ahead without looking back and managed to earn her B.S. in Human Development/Family Studies in just four years.

“In hindsight, I wish I would have given myself permission to finish my degree in five years but at that time my internal drive in an effort to create a better life pushed me forward at a fast pace”, explains Heather.  I wasn’t looking back.”

Heather knew she was on the right path as she pushed forward earning her Masters degree.  She would continue her love of working with children— not as a pediatrician but as a counselor.  As she’d done in high school, Heather found great support in some really great teachers. They mentored her.  They got her thinking about earning her Ph.D.; something she never considered up until then.

“At that point in my life, everything just seemed to click”, says Heather.  “I found my intellectual niche.  I’m a curiosity seeker; I seek information and this path was perfect for me.”

Heather earned her Ph.D. in Developmental Psychology from the University of Michigan and found herself working as a professor at a prestigious east coast institution for eight years.  She finally felt like she had made it.  She’d found success.  She was on a tenure track at a research university— the gold standard for any university professor.  She was teaching graduate students while at the same time satisfying her love of learning and curiosity seeking by doing important research work.

However, sometimes life and circumstances have a different plan; steering the course of a career path. Heather wanted a child and realized that becoming a mother would be a risk to her career.  At the same time, she was not finding the support for her tenure case and the tone at the university was changing— pushing Heather further away from her internal compass. 

“I didn’t realize at the time how miserable I had become”, states Heather.  “To get to where I was at, I had to give up a lot.  I realized that my job as a professor at that institution was no longer a good fit for me.”

Sometimes it takes a leap of faith to find a career that speaks to your soul.  Heather left her job as professor, a position she had her sights set on for years, to take the position as Director of the Leahy Center in Vermont.   “I took a leap of faith with this career transition and I love it”, states Heather.

You could say this move has brought Heather full circle in her life.  You see the Leahy Center’s mission is to change the factors that influence rural, modest-income, first-generational students’ educational and occupational aspirations.  I cannot think of a person more qualified to lead this cause than Dr. Heather Bouchey.

At age 40, Heather is living her best life both as a mother and as an advocate for low-income, rural, first generational college students.  Part of this has to do with what Heather refers to as “checking in with herself”.  She now pays attention to what’s important in her heart and puts less stock in what others say she should be doing. She also is now able to bring kindness and compassion to herself— something she has struggled with in the past.

“Looking back, I always internalized class issues; I was always embarrassed by it”, states Heather.  “Now I realize that it was out of my control and I feel blessed about my situation.  I am grateful for the love and support I had.  My childhood situation made me who I am today and gives me a deep understanding of the dynamics at play for the students I now advocate for.”

I am proud of my friend.  Her drive and motivation continues to inspire me to this day.

“I used to be afraid of life’s challenges,” says Heather.  “Part of my motivation was fear of failure.  I was on a fast track moving full steam ahead to escape my childhood environment.”

“But I’m not afraid anymore”.

I've discovered  many things from Heather's journey. I hope you did too. 

• No matter your background or station in life, you have the ability to make a better life for yourself.  It's up to you and noone else.
• Really listen to your internal compass.  It's important to listen to mentors and to take advice, however ultimately you know what steps are best for you.  Sit still and listen to the tiny whispers that will point you in the right direction.
• It's ok to slow down and appreciate you. In fact, you owe it to yourself to celebrate you.

Are you a Fred?

As some of you may know, I am a meeting planner for an educational consulting firm.  We just finished our largest annual event— a national conference that attracts 1,300 attendees from across the U.S. and Canada.   And that is where I have been lately. But now I am back and will soon be posting another conversation I had with yet another inspirational woman so check back soon.  Meanwhile, I want to talk about what our closing keynote speaker had to say...


I was really moved by our closing keynote, Mark Sanborne's message.  I thought I would share some main points with you as they benefit us all, no matter what line of work you are in.  Mark talked about his mailman- yes I said his mailman.  Mark explained how his mailman, Fred, was an ordinary man who provided extraordinary customer service.  Mark was actually so taken back by Fred's "spirit of service" and other "Fred's" that he met along the way that he wrote a book called The Fred Factor— a national best seller.  This book contains as Mark says "the simple yet profound lessons" that he has learned from all the "Fred's"that he has encountered along the way.  And according to Mark Sanborne, by applying the four following principals, it's possible to do extraordinary work— just like Fred.


1.  Everyone Makes a Difference: no matter your job title or your role within a company, you have the power to make a difference. You choose whether or not your work is exceptional.  It's up to you.


2.  Everything is Built on Relationships: According to Mark Sanborne, "Service becomes personalized when a relationship exists between the provider and the customer." By taking the time to understand the customer,  that information can be used to provide better service.  Fred is proof that, in any job or business, relationship building is the most important objective because the quality of the relationship differentiates the quality of the product or service" says Mark.  Are you taking the time to really get to know your customer? Depending on your industry, your customer can be a colleague, a client, a patient, a student, etc.


3.  You must continually create value for others, and it doesn't have to cost a penny: Creating value for a customer goes a long way and you don't have to spend money in order to do so.  According to Mark, "you too can replace money with imagination. The object is to outthink your competition rather than outspend them."


4.   You can reinvent yourself regularly: You awake every morning to a clean slate.  It is your opportunity to re-invent yourself and focus on putting the passion and drive back into your life and work.


Are you a Fred?  If not, focus on what is holding you back from doing extraordinary work.  You owe it your employer, your customers, and most importantly to you to live and work with passion and a "spirit of service".


[I briefly summarized Mark Sanborne's four principles here.  For a more in depth explaination and to learn more about the "original Fred" and the extraordinary service he provided, visit http://www.fredfactor.com/]

Conversation #6: Turning a childhood vision into reality

If you feel stuck in your current situation, get off your butt and MOVE!  It takes effort.  You can choose to sit in front of the TV or choose to take action."  —Laura Stack, President, The Productivity Pro, Inc. 

You can say that Laura Stack has been living her passion all her life.  As a young girl, she dreamt of becoming a professional performer.  Laura was always dancing, singing, producing puppet shows, and recording herself "onstage".  She was forever exploring creative endeavors. 

While most young girls are focused on going to the mall or to a concert to watch their favorite group, at age 14 Laura found herself attending a Zig Ziglar Seminar. 

"My mother sent me to a Zig Ziglar Seminar when I was 14 years old", says Laura.  I decided then that I wanted to be like Zig Ziglar—I wanted to be a professional speaker."

Who knew it at the time that this young girl with a passion for performing would grow up to become Founder and President of a highly regarded training firm, bestselling author of four books, and one of the leading experts in the field of employee productivity and workplace issues, featured nationally on the CBS Early Show, CNN, the New York Times, and USA Today.

It's rare for someone to go to the business of professional speaking.  Professional speaking usually comes to someone after years of professional experience, after authoring a book, or to someone suddenly thrown into the spotlight due to a certain event or circumstance.  But this was not the case for Laura.  At that ripe age of 14, she knew this was her path and she went for it.  "I knew public speaking was perfect for me. It combined my passion for wanting to help people with my love of the stage", explains Laura. 

So how did she do it?  How did she turn her childhood vision into reality?

Education was always important in her family.  Her mother held a Master's degree; her father a Ph.D.  It was never a question that Laura and her two brothers would go to college. It was expected. 

"I grew up understanding the importance of education and the motto work before play," states Laura,  “This was the norm in our family".

It must have been a combination of Laura's upbringing and her natural talent for getting things done quickly and efficiently that led her to earning her MBA at age 21.  During this time, she worked for a large aerospace company and eventually became one of their internal trainers.  After working for just two years in that role, Laura realized the corporate world was not for her.

She also tried her hand teaching undergraduate students only to realize the academic world was not for her. 

"I was young, fearless, and able to quickly determine if a position suited me.  When it wasn't a good fit, when it wasn't aligned with my vision of myself, I quickly moved on to something else," states Laura.  This style of career exploration suited Laura well and led her to a position that felt like a good fit.

Laura approached Career Track, a company that produced public seminars.  Although she was young, it never occurred to her that they would not take her on as a seminar speaker.  "I had confidence in myself, worked hard, and was determined," Laura explains.  She submitted a video of herself "onstage". They could see her potential. They liked her energy, and gave her a chance.

Being a seminar speaker solidified Laura's vision of herself as a professional speaker.  "When I was onstage speaking to large audiences, it felt right. I felt in alignment", states Laura.

While continuing her contract work for Career Track, Laura began building her professional speaking/training business. 

Laura had confidence in her abilities; knew her value and what she had to offer.  This enabled her to pick up the phone and cold call companies about her speaking programs.  She offered her programs for free for the first few years to get her foot in the door.  She would go in, wow her audiences, get a referral letter, and quickly move on to the next speaking opportunity.  Before long, companies were calling Laura to speak; and the momentum continued, leading to more and bigger speaking engagements, books, and television appearances.

For many, the thought of picking up the phone and cold calling companies is quite intimidating.

"I had done my work, I was prepared" states Laura.  "I projected confidence in my voice and knew what I had to offer".  “So many people don't do the work and that makes all the difference.  You must do the work.  My confidence came from doing the work."

Are you confident with what you are bringing to the table?  Have you done your work?

Laura was also determined.  She was not afraid of rejection.  When a company said no, she quickly moved on to the next call. 

"When a company said no, I was more determined because I knew if I kept going I would be one step closer to yes" says Laura.

Do you feel in alignment with what you are currently doing?  Do you have a vision of yourself?  Maybe you have been working your vision on the side?  You may be coming from a place where you don’t have the liberty to move from a job that is not suited for you, however according to Laura there comes a point where you must jump.  She's not suggesting being foolish but she is suggesting that you MOVE. 

"If you feel stuck- not in alignment with your vision of you- then MOVE!  Get off your butt and network, get involved in associations or clubs, make an effort" says Laura.  "Some people wallow in self-pity but yet they can't tell me a single thing they've done to change their behavior.  It takes effort."

Laura turned her childhood vision of herself into reality because she was prepared. She did the work. She was not afraid of rejection.  She was determined and she MOVED!  And she continues to move toward new goals— like serving as the 2011-2012 President of the National Speakers Association, writing more books, and of course continuing her love of performing on stage as a professional speaker.  Her momentum continues!

Laura makes it sound so simple.  And you know what?  Maybe it is......Get off your butt and MOVE!  It's up to you.   

To see Laura in action “onstage” check out her great video clips at http://www.theproductivitypro.com/

Where were you last July 4th?

As July 4th falls upon us, I find myself reflecting on where I was last year at this time— I don't mean literally speaking.  Of course I remember where I was physically— I went to a local arts festival with a friend of mine.  But what I am really reflecting on is where I was figuratively speaking— where was I on my life's path.  My path to...well I don't know where exactly yet but get what I'm saying?

It's funny how certain events make us reflect upon a year gone by and what we've done or didn't do— I always reflect on my birthday, Christmas, and I guess now on July 4th too.

Last year at this time I was at an arts festival with my friend and then we stopped for dinner.  I was telling her how ready I was to find my next steps in life and maybe if I started speaking with other women- and blogging about it- I would discover something more about myself or learn something from their path to success and maybe my blog would encourage other women to push forward toward their goals— or maybe to even make a goal.  It was just a thought then.

Well a year has passed and I woke up today with the strange thought that I am actually doing the very thing I was talking about a year ago.  Of course in my mind it's not moving fast enough but reflecting back a year ago, I am one step closer toward..... well what I don't know.  But at least I have started down some path.

Where were you last July 4th?  What goal or vision were you talking about?  Have you done anything this past year to bring you closer to reaching your goal?  If you answered yes, that is great!  Keep moving forward so you can look back next year at this time and see how far you've come.  If you answered no then what are you waiting for?  If you don't get moving toward your goal then you will be looking back next July 4th realizing you are in the same position as you are right now.  Get moving!

I had a great conversation this week with a very inspiring, accomplished woman— and wow did she have a lot of wisdom to share! I can't wait to share it with you.  Check back tomorrow as I will post Conversation #6. 

Happy July 4th.  Get moving!